Limitless

I liked the movie Blow. Johnny Depp brought a cool to the drug dealing industry that is rarely caught on film. Dazed and Confused was another great stoner flick, grabbing high school life by the balls and throwing it into society's face. Man, even The Godfather had its foot in the drug dealing camp. Refusing to sell drugs on the street is what got Don Corleone shot in the first place. However, I have discovered a new movie that ushers in a new regime of drug flickers: Limitless. What's so great about this druggy movie is that the drug is beneficial not only to the user, but the rest of society as well. You see, cocaine and E have gained such bad notoriety because their uses kill. They caught a real tough break.

Limitless is the story of failing writer Eddie Morra (Bradley Cooper) and his recreational use of a secret drug that alters his entire train of thought. The drug allows him to use 100% of his brain and anticipate different things. Throughout the film, the audience is introduced to characters that test Eddie's wits and logic as he tries to figure out how to fully utilize his new found glory.

Limitless is a cautionary tale gone astray. On one hand, this is a film about a drug that is addictive because of its main purpose: ultimate perfection in everything. On the other hand, the drug is not crippling, but rather empowering. In times like these when everyone wants to feel secure in everything they do, a sense of possibility and understanding is wanted. The drug in the film gives its user that feeling. Usually, a drug movie vilifies the drug, but in here it is being glorified.

Keep in mind, I sat through this movie with a bunch of friends from school. Story wise, the film was outstanding and everything was very easy to follow. Even though much of the dialogue was spoken in wall street financial lingo and power broker money talk, the meaning was clearly stated. But from a cinematic standpoint, enjoying shots and angles is difficult when people are asking stupid questions or sending text messages. There was one re-occurring shot where the streets of New York City would shoot out into a never ending tunnel and all I could hear was the nauseous moans of my friends. And then whenever there was a sex scene, the woot woots came howling.

I can't totally blame my friends for me missing half the film. I totally missed the meaning of the ending because I was flirting with the dangerously fiery redhead to my left. Limitless is in fact a drug movie, but it is also a success story. It's also a film about corporate greed, self interest, and survival of the fittest. Get ready for the cheesiness, but I guess the morals of this movie are Limitless as well. Shout out to Josh and Bryce and Boyd and Brooke and Ally and Jenny and Hayley and Zach. Yeah, I think that's everyone

Green Street Hooligans

I have been in Ecuador for the last 12 days so there has been quite a rift in my writing. I'm sure you were all eagerly awaiting my next clever movie review while I was munching on smoked Guinea Pig and worms. However, while you were all sleeping in your warm, comfy beds, I was going toe to toe with cockroaches they size of my ear and moths larger then most kittens. I'm in somewhat of an international mood and therefore have decided that my first post back will be about a movie not made in the US, but rather abroad. This movie is so far away....England. Yeah, yeah, so it's in English...big whoop. England is still different then America and therefore not as great. They call cigarettes fags, prostitutes wenches, and have poor dental hygiene...literally all of them. This movie, of course, is Green Street Hooligans.

Green Street Hooligans takes place in "football" infatuated London. Matt Buckner (Elijiah Wood) is wrongfully accused of drug use at Harvard University and is expelled. He runs away to London to stay with his sister who has married an British national. Once Matt meets Pete Dunham (Charlie Hunnam), his brother-in-law's brother, the two begin a friendship that shakes the foundations of Pete's "football firm" or gang.

I saw this movie and just wanted to start punching, just go into a crowded public area and yell out like Jackie Moon, "Somebody hit someone!" Essentially, GSH teaches its viewers the upside of violent street fighting, as long as its for a cause like keeping the reputation of a soccer team that has never done anything to benefit you, then you are golden. Elijiah Wood just reeks of wimpiness. The whole point of the movie is to show the different fights that the "firms" get into before and after matches and the rivalries that explode. I'm sorry, but Frodo Baggins just doesn't fit the criteria of Hooligan. In GSH, his words are soft and delicate. He has the voice of a baby and when he is trying to intimidate his enemies, he just sounds like a girl. I could even kick the shit out of him.

But Elijiah does not destroy the movie, in fact, his pussification only propels the movie forwards. At times, it's almost comical to see him in fights. Charlie Hunnam does a fantastic job at developing a true football fanatic. He freaks out when the Yank calls it soccer, offers up his seat to a lady on the Underground, and teaches football to kids at school. All in all, the English are pretty versatile people. His screen presence is dominating, but not overpowering. You understand his leadership role within the firm, but he doesn't hog anything. He is valiant till the end and distinguishes between loyalty to friends and firm.

GSH is kind of like The Longest Yard, but not really. Actually the only similarity lies in the fighting. And even then, GSH has all of its fights take place outside of the field. I rescind my last comment, GSH and The Longest Yard have nothing in common. I would erase this whole thing, but I feel that would just be demoralizing to me. In GSH, intimidation of perseverance through strength means power. A fist is far more powerful then words, especially if most of the words are camouflaged beneath heavy English accents. Green Street Hooligans is a sports, international, and drama all wrapped into one giant burrito of fun. Except this burrito is kind of damp and sticky like many of London's streets.

Heckler

There is an extreme chance that you haven't seen this film. A portion of that chance may be from the fact that is a documentary. While informative and usually a good mind stimulant, documentaries are a dying breed. I, personally, enjoy the doc because of its willingness to dive into issues. It is a movie genre that isn't afraid to make a fool of itself and almost wants to make every situation as awkward and uncomfortable as possible. The documentary has also transformed whoever is making the film into a world authority on the matter. Suddenly, every Tom Dick and Harry thinks they are the leading source on whale migration in the Arctic Ocean or an increase in AIDS cats in the deep South. Documentaries give their filmmakers a sense of pride, one that probably wouldn't be achieved if they wanted to write a book or something. Who reads anyways?

Heckler is Jamie Kennedy's attempt to examine the psychology of the critic and the heckler. Leading experts in the field, otherwise known as comedians, explain personal experiences with hecklers and critics and try to debunk the villainous truth behind bad reviews. Essentially, it is an hour and eighteen minutes of every comedian ever seen on Comedy Central repeating each other, "Hecklers want to get their voice heard, Bloggers want to attack the people on top!"

At times in this doc, I felt genuinely bad for these performers. Here you have people going on stage in front of people they have never met before, just trying their hardest to get people to laugh. When nobody laughs, the negativity comes out. Come on, audience, it's not like the comedian can read everybody's mind to see what they find funny. Cut the guy a little friggin slack. Also, you don't have this comedian coming to your work and telling you how pitiful of a garbage man you are or how awful your copy pressing fingers look. Jesus Christ, people, have a little sympathy.

With that being said, Jaime and all his comedian friends, grow the fuck up. Boo hoo, a critic slammed your movie because it wasn't funny or it wasn't intelligent. I'm pretty sure you are still walking home with a paycheck larger then most McDonalds employees go home with after a year. So your movie didn't reach out to every single person in the audience; in the perspective of things, I bet you made a couple of people laugh or cry. So if anything, it's a double whammy for you: not only did you entertain some people, you also are making more money then Juan from the gas station and his entire family combined. You may make the argument that it's not always about the money, it's about doing what I love. Well that's very noble and all, so why don't you start charging free admission for comedy shows or stop bashing the economy in every set you have.

It's strange, Kennedy talks about people just like me in Heckler. He says we are fat, white, nerdy, and smelly. While that may be true for most bloggers, it is not for me so suck it. A number of the comedians interviewed say the same thing, absolute dipshits are bloggers. Ok, so why are you caring so much what we write then. Of the millions of blogs and review sites in this gigantic world, what the hell makes you think that the person who is deciding between your next movie or someone elses is going to consult my site first?

We love to attack the guys on top. It's true, we get jealous and it forces us to break others down. That's human nature, just as performing and taking home giant checks without thinking twice is human nature. So what it really comes down to is we both enjoy what we do, you make money, enough money in two weeks that would put our lives to shame while we write reviews that bash you that will probably never be read. Let's see who has the advantage, chances are nobody will ever know that this existed. Sorry Jaime, I loved you in Malibu's Most Wanted.