Little Giants

By far one of the greatest sports movies ever made, Little Giants combines America's natural love for competition and need to rag on those who are small and scrawny or wide and fat. I think back to my days in elementary school, playing two hand touch behind the school. I was a rather roundish fellow so obviously I was put at center, even though I had no clue what that position meant. I was so big that whenever friends would make teams on Madden '99 or any of the Backyard Sports games, I was the center or the catcher or the goalie, all because I was wide. Did I ever go on to play any of those positions later on in life...god no! Nowadays, I manage fantasy and live vicariously through Adrian Peterson and Drew Brees.

Little Giants is funny. It's stupid humor that just makes you want to give a chuckle. The plot is pretty basic. Two brothers (Rick Moranis and Ed O'Neil), I think you can probably guess which one is the tougher one, compete against one another to coach the best Pee-Wee football team in town. It's a classic film about working small children till they break, and then making them work some more. There are some very harsh undertones to this story.

All I can say is aging hasn't been very good to Ed O'Neil. In Little Giants, he has thick brown hair, a beautiful jaw line, and pretty broad shoulders. He plays a washed up football stud who dreams of creating a group of bloodthirsty footballers out of 5th graders. On Modern Family, he looks like he could throw out his back at any moment and this movie was only made in '94. Rick Moranis gives his classic small guy, big heart performance. No he isn't being the worlds worst scientist father in this movie or killing space plants. He is a dad whose daughter, Icebox (Shawna Waldron), just wants to play some football. Little Giants has fart humor, physical comedy, and quick wit all rolled into one.

I think I spotted one use of Special Effects and it was used perfectly. Jake (Todd Bosley), the team weakling, has a giant snot bubble blowing in and out of his nose. The son of a bitch just keeps blowing up and down and I love it! Forget Avatar, if I could pick one excellent use of SFX in cinema history, it would be this movie. The booger is fantastic!

Little Giants urges its viewers to look past pride when family is on the line. O'Neil and Waldron have one rather poetic scene where she is second guessing her tomboyishness in front of her uncle and he replies, "I think you're beautiful". Ahh, the power of family bonding can break even the tightest of rivalries. Only scenes before, he had been training his team of delinquents the proper technique for hitting girls because she is the best on the other team. Wow, her team must really suck.

My brother and I don't compete much because he knows I would win, but I can still learn lessons from this film. As for Rick Moranis and Ed O'Neil, well, we all know who made it out of the 90's in one piece.