Michael Collins

March 17th rolls around and everyone is thinking the same thing. Regardless of skin color, religion, total annual income, and most importantly hair color, everybody wants to be Irish. There aren't many other holidays during the year where one would wish to be another ethnicity. I definitely don't see too many people rushing to the Synagogue every time Purim rolls around. Hamantaschen just don't bring in the goy like they used to. To feel Irish on Saint Paddy's day, however, is a unifying feeling, a glorious feeling, a where-the-hell-is-the-john feeling. Well, if it isn't St. Patrick's Day and you're looking for that feeling of pure Irish company, pop in Michael Collins and let Liam Neeson do the rest. (And yes, you could very well have that where-the-hell-is-the-john feeling because it is a long ass movie)

Ireland, in my ignorant mind, is known for two things: the IRA and witty remarks that can't be deciphered under the heavy brogue of drunken Irishmen. Luckily, Michael Collins has a heavy dose of both those topics. Set during Ireland's fight for Independence from Great Britain, the movie follows the trials and tribulations of.....wait for it.....wait.....wait.....Michael Collins! What a surprise! Collins (played by the Dad we all wanted, but are totally fine with the ones we have: Liam Neeson) was a rowdy, strategic Irish revolutionary whose actions ousted the English from Ireland, but unfortunately created the division between Northern Ireland and the Free State of Ireland. To this day, I still don't understand its history.

Neeson is fantastic. I would even be so bold to say he matches wits with my boys Morgan and Tim from Shawshank. As Collins, Neeson exudes a sense of passion for his country. He bellows and pumps his fists in the air. He wants to yell and persuade; he wants to tear up at every sentence. Hell, he's a regular John Boehner. But Liam doesn't tackle this movie all by himself. Mr. Aidan Quinn plays Harry Boland, another prominent member of the Irish resistance movement. His performance is just as riveting and just as emotional as his superior. The Neeson-Quinn dynamic is strangely romantic. There is an unconditional love for each other, no matter the distance they are apart from each other or the obstacles they face. And in their ever shifting alliances and unions with characters like Kitty Kiernan (Julia Roberts) or Eamon de Valera (Alan Rickman), they still remain eternally indebted to one another. Reminds me of my boys Tim and Morgan from Shawshank.

Michael Collins is a historical movie. Anybody who watches it can learn and be entertained at the same time. I've probably seen it six or seven times and it never gets old. It's a story of liberation and freedom, but it's also a story of friendship. And there is my connection between Michael Collins and St. Patrick's Day. Everybody needs friends, especially when they are passed out with their pants down and lying in their own puddle of sick outside the Ned Devine's Irish Pub in Faneuil Hall.

I'M BACK!