Movies I would force Hitler to sit through IV

Deception pisses me off. When I walk into McDonald's, I expect a juicy, fully loaded hamburger that looks just like the ones in the commercials. Instead, I get something that resembles the droppings of Jabba the Hutt. I especially hate it when people say "tell the truth, it will make things a lot easier". Well, they fail to specify that it only makes things easier for them and really screws yourself over. So you can obviously understand my resentment towards movies that lie about their plots with their titles. Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a terrible movie and in no way, shape, or form tells of any rise of any planet or any apes. Wow, I hate that movie.

James Franco has to be the strangest actor in Hollywood these days. He has been typecast as the hot guy (Whatever It Takes, Tristan and Isolde), the Rebel (James Dean, Flyboys), the Hero (The Great Raid), and more recently...the heavily drug induced (Pineapple Express, Howl, Tar). But ROTPOTA (excuse the abbreviation) doesn't seem to fit in any of those categories. Actually, Franco seemed very stoned in a few scenes.

Regardless of his state of consciousness during the filming, this was a bad movie. Dr. Will Rodman (Franco) is trying to find a cure for Alzheimer's by heavily testing on apes and chimps. After creating a special dosage of medicine and finding worthy results on one chimp, Caesar, Will takes Caesar home and raises him over the years until the chimp has become smart, physically fit, and perceptive. After a violent encounter with a neighbor, Caesar must go and live with other malcontent primates where he plots his revolution. This is where the supposed "rising" begins.

Jesus, Caesar! If you're going to have a revolution, follow through with it! Don't get to the damn Redwood forest and do nothing. Conquer some territory, exert your dominance. You're a fucking Ape that can talk! Go show it. That is why animals will never conquer humans; we don't get distracted that easily. But seriously, there was no rise of any planet. Caesar and his poop eating friends, if anything at all, made it easier for authorities to track him into the woods and unleash a volley hell. The aftermath would be very similar to that escape of tigers and bears and lions in Ohio, expect there would be more dead apes and less dead tigers. I wanted to see Apes knocking down buildings and flying airplanes, not merely throwing away guns of terrified CHIP officers. Eric Estrada wouldn't have backed down.

I hate holes in the plot, and I'm assuming every other audience member in the world hates them as well. That's why I would force Hitler to watch this movie. All 105 minutes of James Franco's squinting, Draco Malfoy's animal cruelty schpeel, and the numerous unfulfilled expectations. Ummm, can you smell sequel?