The Toy Story Trilogy

I must say that was not the best Academy Awards I have ever seen. Anne Hathaway seemed more like the cool babysitter you might be lucky enough to get when you are seven, but James Franco just stood there like an idiot. He closed his eyes halfway whenever he spoke, and his jokes were not nearly close enough to Funny Or Die material. While I should be blaming these lifeless robots for a poor showing on TV, I actually must blame ABC for their terrible performance. ABC had been building up this award show for the last several weeks and it turns out the commercials were funnier then the show itself. That's what happened with The Expendables, awful film. Anywho, in honor of the night's most respected recipient, Randy Newman, I present you with a review of the Toy Story 3 trilogy: The Abridged Version. (Not a chance in hell I'm spending 3 hours to review each movie individually).

The Toy Story series follows Woody and Buzz, two talking toys, who go on a series of wild adventures, all in the name of their owner Andy. Throughout the series, we are introduced to characters like Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles), Slinky (Blake Clark), Hamm (John Ratzenberger), and Jessie (Joan Cusack).

In the first Toy Story, Woody (Tom Hanks), Andy's most beloved toy is jealous of the new toy, Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen). In an act of jealousy, Woody fakes Buzz's death to regain Andy's affection, but in the end becomes best friends with Buzz. The first movie definitely tried to emphasise the friendship piece, but not just with Buzz and Woody. The relationship between Andy and his toys are just as strong.

In the second film, we are introduced to Jessie. Woody finds out he is a collectors item and is mistakenly given to a collector. Woody realizes just how much he needs his family of toys, so I think the main message of this film was appreciating what you have.

The third installment finds Andy going off to college and contemplating giving his toys away, hmphh some friend. The toys get taken to a nursery home where they believe they will be played with carefully, but they find the children to be little devils. Totally put me off from wanting to have kids for a good four months. By far the most badass of all the films, this one ends in a real cliffhanger, actually everything gets sorted out so there isn't much of a cliff or a hanger. Purpose is by far the dominating theme in this film.

If Pixar animated films was a crime syndicate, Toy Story would be the Godfather. This is pretty much the movie that started a revolution of Pixar movies. It also started a generation of terrified children who believed their toys came to live after they left for school. I was one of them, but I thought they wanted to kill me like Chucky cause I never picked them up. I thought I was like Andy, but if I was a toy I would hate me too. I used to leave Lego's outside in the winter and wait for the snow to melt to find them. Obviously I'm no Sid, but that's pretty brutal.

The Toy Story Saga also gave us some pretty classic friendship tunes, compliments of my boy and newly awarded Oscar winner Randy Newman. I always felt like Randy was the kind of musician that everyone else in entertainment never took seriously until he started doing big things, like Rain Man. Randy Newman is like Rain Man. "You've Got a Friend in Me" is to this day my favorite movie song ever. Newman is so simple with his lyrics, but he gives such a punch. Forget that he sounds like one of the bosses from Star Fox, the man is a musical genius. But seriously, I think every animated movie has a song by Ra-New.

I grew up with Toy Story. It's been apart of my life and taught me to never neglect my roots. That's what Toy Story really is trying to tell us; we have our new connections and our computers and cell phones, but let's just remember the days when everything was simple and our toys were our best friends. And then Facebook came.

Oscar Special

It is one of the most wondrous nights of the year. Some say Oscar night is comparable to a Bar Mitzvah party or wedding night. My BM theme was army/navy, but I can see how the two correlate. Anyway, movie season this year was not at its finest point but there have been a few standout performances that I think deserve the Oscar nod over others. Without further adeu, let us dive into the sea of exposed cleavage and thin neckties that is the Academy Awards.

Original Screenplay: Inception has to take this baby home. I was mind fucked by the intricate plot. If a movie about two lesbian mothers beats out this kick ass neurological punchbag of a movie, I will be shocked.

Best Animated Film: Toy Story 3. In the history of animated films, Toy Story is the Jesus Christ of animated films. Praise it

Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network. Sorkin gave Zuck personality, nuff said.

Visual Effects: Inception will grab this one for sure. The movie takes place in a dream world for gods sake! I saw an entire city block roll into a wall in this movie. If that's what someones normal dream looked like, I'd hate to see what a wet dream looks like.

Sound Mixing/Editing: I can't really tell what the difference is between the two, but they are separate categories. For the sake of efficiency, I'm going to say Inception gets this one. Lots of horns and what sounded like chairs being dragged going on in this film.

Original Song: I'm giving this one to Randy Newman and his song We Belong Together from Toy Story 3. Randy knows how to make a beat and even though he may not be taken seriously by most film composers, the dude has been around the block. How many songwriters do you know that have the balls to say "short people got no reason to live"? Quick sidenote, Inception will get best score-Hans Zimmer

Film Editing: I have to say, The Fighter will win this. I never truly understood how important film editing was until I read a review of a particular scene in this movie. It is in the beginning when we first see Christian Bale in his drug den. The scene is a masterpiece of archive footage of boxing matches and shots with Bale. It's fabulous and that scene could seal the deal for The Fighter.

Director: David Fincher. He gave Zuck personality, nuff said.

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale hands down. Some say Geoffrey Rush, but Bale put so much of his life into this role. Starving himself, perfecting that Lowell accent, really giving it his all. Bale better get this or the Academy is going to have some serious problems.

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo. What Leo did on screen for Lowell women will be forever immortalized in her scene where she sends her daughters out to beat up Amy Adams. That's what a real mother does for her son, sends out the goons.

Best Actress: Natalie Portman. I haven't seen Black Swan, but I really want to see Your Highness and I think if she is half as smokin hot in that as she is in Your Highness, she's got it.

Best Actor: Colin Firth. He's pretty fantastic. Nailed the stutter, is the model Englishman. I want to see him get this Oscar pretty badly.

Best Film: While I would love to see Hollywood East take home the gold for The Fighter, I think The Social Network has this one. It brought personality to Zuck, nuff said.

The Oscars are starting soon, I must grab my seat next to Brad and Angelina. That was a joke, I'm home.

The Pursuit of Happyness

I'm not usually a fan of movies that don't have proper titles, but in this case I make an exception. The Pursuit of Happyness is an excellent film that shows its audience how important money really is in America. Seriously, from watching this movie I learned that I should never be without money. Yeah, family and love is all nice and happy, but The Pursuit of Happyness taught me money is the only way to survive out in the world. With that being said, watching this movie makes me feel lucky and guilty at the same time. But this guy, Chris Gardner the main character, probably has more money then he knows what to do with so I think I can rest easy.

In this film, we find single father Chris Gardner (Will Smith) trying to piece his life back together and get job all the while trying to raise his young son Christopher (Jaden Smith). Chris is broke for most of the film and we find him and his son running from shelter to shelter while Chris manages a lucrative internship at a brokerage firm.

Real life father and son Will and Jaden Smith give this film the on screen chemistry needed for a movie of this magnitude. The majority of the film is their interaction with one another so a concrete relationship is crucial. Both Will and Jaden bring, what I am assuming to be, a healthy relationship outside of work into this movie. Every hug is filled with intensity and every shot of holding hands is powerful. Will gives a performance of a lifetime. His character speaks out to not just fathers, but any person who has stood up and taken ownership of something. Jaden is just cute as hell. He's probably also the luckiest kid in Hollywood. If my Dad was the Fresh Prince, I'd strut my stuff up and down Rodeo drive.

The Pursuit of Happyness has a few scenes that stick out in my mind. First and foremost is bathroom scene in the subway station. Chris and his son have been locked out of their motel room and are forced to seek shelter in a dirty subway bathroom. Chris camouflages the disgrace of this act by telling his son they are going back in time and he must imagine the bathroom to be a cave. For the next thirty seconds, we find Chris, with his son asleep on his lap, holding back tears as people begin knocking on the bathroom door to get in. Your heart just gets ripped out because you feel for how low this man has gone. The second most important scene in this film is when Chris finally fixes his bone density scanner. After weeks of fiddling around with it, the light turns on an illuminates the shelter. Probably the most symbolic scene in the film, there is a light at the end of the dark, homeless, dirty tunnel. The scene speaks for itself, quite frankly. Finally, there is Chris's job offer. He has been working for weeks trying to land this job and it is finally given to him. Will Smith does this facial expression when he tries to hold back tears but his lips curl up. It's powerful stuff, man. And it is by far the most feel good scene in the movie. The man has seen everything terrible and he is finally being rewarded for his heroic actions.

I liked this movie. It really makes you feel as if you can achieve anything when you are poor and homeless. It's an inspirational film to say the least. What if every homeless person in America saw this film? There you go America, I just solved the homeless problem. I'm assuming that those of you who read this blog have money; you haven't spent it all on Brazzers passwords or Ding Dongs. Be happy with what you have people. Be happy that you didn't have to sleep in bathrooms or wrestle doped up homeless men for a spot in the shelter. However, be kind of down in the dumps because you are not Will Smith's son. Sorry this wasn't a review of Kid Cudi's song.

Youth in Revolt

Get some much needed sleep or write a review?Hesitantly, I will pick the latter. I make myself write one review every day, give the people what they want! I want to make movies when I get older. I want to write, direct, produce, edit, the whole nine yards. When I direct, I want my actors to make choices that leave a lasting imprint on the audience. When I edit, I want my movies to flow and have scenes sync perfectly with one another. If I ever produce, I want directors to come begging me for production money, offering me their wives and first born children. Most importantly, when I write, I want to create characters that are truly unlike anyone in the known world. I want their dialogue to be smart and funny and quirky and unique. And every time I try to sit down in front of my computer to type up a new screenplay, my mind goes blank and I try in vain to come up with clever lines. Youth in Revolt was like one giant slap in the face to me because it seemed as if every line personified cleverness. Literally, the moment Michael Cera talks, my jaw dropped four inches and you could fit golf balls in my cheeks.

Youth in Revolt is the story of 16 year old Nick Twisp (Michael Cera who will forever look like a 14 year old) and his attempts to fight for the girl he loves, Sheeni (Portia Doubleday). Along the way, Nick invents an alter ego, Francois, who forces Nick to do evil deeds like burn down half of Berkeley, CA, or destroy both of his parents' cars.

Youth is a cool movie because of how intelligent Sheeni and Nick sound in contrast with the rest of the characters. They are two lovers who are meant to be together, but they come from un-educated and ill-informed families who care very little for love or any other human emotion. The fight to block out these obstacles and remain with each other is what makes for such an entertaining film. Twisp is a confident character who enjoys Sinatra, journaling, and shrooms. In his world, nobody is like him so when he meets Sheeni he tries to do whatever it takes to be with her. Sheeni is the same; a lover of french and french music. She is incredibly forward and extremely flirtatious. I believe that is what makes this such an appealing film to, well the title says it all, youth. There is an odd chemistry between Nick and Sheeni, one that reverts back to man's primitive nature and raw tendencies. Nick finds the need to constantly express his undying love for Sheeni. These two just have to be together and it's evident in both the dialogue and their stage direction.

Dialogue pushes this movie past all pre conceived boundaries. Nick and Sheeni speak with a certain affect. Whether it's Nick commenting on the dog he has bought for Sheeni or Sheeni describing her happiness at attending a French speaking school, these characters bring a high intelligence to their speech. At the same time, the frankness of Nick's alter ego, Francois, is blunt and hysterical. Whereas Nick tries to think through his actions, Francois makes a matter-of-fact statement and continues with his day. Again, their is an action and counteraction of personalities that resonate well in the movie.

Youth in Revolt is a comedy. It will make you laugh if you see it. I just can't comprehend how every line was written to be so damn intelligently funny. Perhaps it's Michael Cera's angel like vocals? Either way, Youth in Revolt was a pleasant surprise for me. I was expecting a school massacre or something involving kids vs adults, but what I got was quick wit and fast humor. So yeah, sleeping or watching this movie. Movie seemed like a good choice tonight. But milk was a bad choice!

Animal House

I don't believe that any review can do this movie justice. Don't worry, mine is not the exception. Animal House is truly the pinnacle of stupid comedy. It's the standard for which all other movies of the genre should be judged against. But what makes Animal House such a treat is not its fart jokes or physical humor; it's the fact that this is the story of college life, something that has gotten high school seniors excited and giddy for the last 3,000 years. The idea of a Toga Party, nonetheless a Toga Party on a school night, blows the mind of any college freshman heading towards their U. Just as Invincible and Friday Night Lights is a pump up movie to any athlete prepping for the big game, Animal House is the rabble rouser that psyches up college froshies.

Animal House is the story of the Delta Tau Chi house of Faber College. The Deltas are a wild bunch of misfits who believe in parties, parties, parties, drinking, girls, and parties. By far the rowdiest frat on campus, the Delta's frequently annoy Faber's head, Dean Wormer, as well as their rivals, the WASPy Omega Theta Pi house.

Like I said before, watching Animal House gets me pumped to go off to college next year. Sure, I'll get a great education that will prepare me for the professional world where I can make a bunch of money, but how often does the opportunity arise where you can stick a dead horse in the dean's office? And how many times will you go on a group date to an all black nightclub? And where else would you make the connections to be able to have Otis Day and the Knights perform in your frat basement? Come on people, managing a stock portfolio is fun, but you're never going to be able to recreate those crazy events in your office.

Not being a college grad yet, I have yet to fully understand Animal House's control over its viewers. I can only being to ponder what my four years in college will be like. I hope there is someone like Bluto (John Belushi) to guide me, socially not academically. Maybe I have the occasional affair with a teacher, maybe I join ROTC. What we must remember, however, is that this took place in the 60's. Alcohol was readily available cause the drinking age was lower. Now, obtaining alcohol is all the more challenging....which makes the payoff all the more rewarding.

Each character guides the audience through frat life. Each character holds important value in the frat house and each character makes a valiant effort towards making party life awesome. In the eyes of true movie critics, this film introduced one of the funniest men in film comedy, Belushi. It also sent hordes of middle aged men into mid life crisis's after recalling the glory days of their college careers. I know, this review didn't really tell to much about Animal House as a movie. Then again, I don't really think there is much to say about the movie's cinematic value itself. Animal House holds true to the one most important rule of films: make the audience enjoy it. Scores of viewers enjoy Animal House for all the memories it brings back and all the fantasies it sets in place.

Tropic Thunder

What's kind of movie is better then a movie about making a movie? How many opportunities do you get to use the same noun three times in one sentence? Not many. Tropic Thunder represents the blood and guts of the entertainment industry. It is a satire of all the antics that goes on in Lala Land and I want to be apart of it. Whether it's an actor surgically changing his skin color to get into the mind of his next character or a hyper agent fighting to get TIVO in his client's trailer, Tropic Thunder takes the self-absorbed behavior the world has come to expect from actors and clump it into one giant Thunderdome of personality clashing.

Tropic Thunder is in fact a movie about the making of a movie. Movies like Platoon and The Great Escape and Saving Private Ryan have professionals come in and train the cast on how to act like real soldiers. In this case, the director (Steve Coogan) takes over that role and ends up being decimated by a live mine in the field. The actors, obviously linking this to special effects and therefore not real, continue into the dense jungle only to find themselves in conflict with a local druglord, whom they believe are actually extras, reinforcing actors' complete and total disregard for reality.

The audience experiences the absurdity of the cast of Tropic Thunder from minute one. We meet Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson), the rapper turned actor. Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black), the fat comedian looking to turn his career around after taking one too many snorts of the White Elephant. Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller), an actor who has been in more sequels, prequels, and sequels to sequels then any other actor in Hollywood. Finally, there is Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.), by far the funniest character in this movie. Lazarus, a pasty white male, has taken the challenge of playing the black sergeant. For the entire movie, Lazarus is painted black and if that subtle hint of racism doesn't give the audience a laugh, I don't know what will. And it's not just that he is a white man playing a black man; Downey Jr. speaks with this southern accent that sounds so forced and so hilarious, even the most simple words are genius. "Cover me, limp dick fuck-ups!" "I'm just like a little boy, playing with his dick when he's nervous" "Everybody knows you never go full retard" I mean, these lines are just classic. His raspy southern drawl brings out every emphasis and I love it! If you see this movie for one reasons only, it should be because of RBJ's performance.

Tropic Thunder pokes fun at just about every war movie ever made. No exaggeration, this movie comes at other movies' necks. Apocalypse Now had a short film that tagged alongside it, Hearts of Darkness, that chronicled the behind the scenes footage of the making of Apocalypse Now. Tropic Thunder has a short film, Rain of Terror, that documents the behind the scenes footage of the movie they were making in Tropic Thunder. Rain of Thunder is as funny, if not funnier, then Tropic Thunder itself. Shit, I only mentioned it poking fun at one movie. Damn, I lost all credibility.

You are guaranteed to laugh during Tropic Thunder. It has humor that appeals to just about every social/political/economical group in the world. When it isn't cussing out the big, money grubbing production companies, it's insulting cinema's impact on the environment. For a kid who wants to make it big in the movie biz, this is the kind of stuff that I awkwardly smile at. I want to be that director who pulls out his hair because his leading actor hasn't memorized his lines. I want to be the writer who shoots the director in the hand for not sticking to script. See this movie.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Fast Times has a bit of everything in it. The awkwardness of first crushes, weed induced humor, playful banter from a doped out Sean Penn, and a rather portly Forest Whitaker. It's a bit like my high school experience, minus the two famous actors. I want to say that Fast Times at Ridgemont is an accurate depiction of the American public school system today, but hey, that was the 80's. And we all know what happened in the 80's.

Fast Times interweaves the stories of slacker Jeff Spicoli (Penn), awkward Mark Ratner (Brian Backer), scummer Mike Damone (Robert Romanus), and little miss innocent Stacey Hamilton (Jennifer Jason Leigh). Each character interacts with one another which somehow affects everyone else.

Now, I'm not product of the 80's, but the casting totally filled out each high school stereo type perfectly. I have never even heard of Brian Backer, nor then or now, and he plays a kid who is equally unnoticeable. His mannerisms are awkward, almost like a pre-pubescent Woody Allen. He makes eye contact, but only when angry. His sentences end softly. The dude is a total chump. Stacey, oh sweet Stacey. She is innocent, unaware, vulnerable. Stacey sleeps around with older men, but is oblivious to those her own age. She isn't cocky, just adventurous. And when she gets knocked up at the end of the movie, a new character emerges, one who is more aware of reality and the harm it brings. Mike Damone reeks of scumminess, not hockey player scumminess, just pure putrid scumbag. In high school, he scalps tickets for various events, he gets girls pregnant, and never shows up to bring them to the abortion clinics. His friendships are ruined because of his mistakes. He is a character who understands his cons, but can't bare to correct himself. Finally, there is Jeff Spicoli. Mr. Spicoli, as his history teacher Mr. Hand (Ray Walston) refers to him as, is laziness personified. Am I out of line to even call him a precursor to The Dude from The Big Lebowski? I mean what kind of kid orders a pizza and has it delivered to his classroom while teaching is going on? For a student so warped out of his mind, Sean Penn transforms Spicoli into a figurehead and an icon. Who can forget Judge Reinhold's memorable role as Stacey's brother Todd, a senior who tries to act older then he is and plan his life according to his status in high school. Despite his fine planning, Todd sees misfortune after misfortune throughout the movie until finally he is redeemed when he saves his Convenience Store from being robbed. This is probably the best scene in the movie because Todd has seen shit for the past hour and it's a real heart warmer to see that big grin on Judge's rectangle of a head.

Characters are the most essential piece of this movie. Yes it has a plot that drives it forward and it tackles social issues like underage sex and abortion and all that hoorah, but its creative process is most noteworthy. Cameron Crowe penned this movie and is most noted for his ultra descriptive characters. Movies like Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire, and Elizabethtown all have memorable characters who portray a distinct role in society. Fast Times is incredibly pleasing to watch, it gives a laugh to anyone who has ever experienced "the high school scene". It set the stage for hundreds of stereo typical high school comedy dramas and for that we say "Learn it. Know it. Live it."